One thing that I have discovered as a transgender woman is that my confidence has soared and I am dreaming as well as doing like never before. I guess this magic moment of accomplishment is the result of finally becoming the person I've always wanted to be.
I was denied my womanhood - my truest person stolen from my life. I had to be someone I was not and this hiding, made me less-than productive. I was denying myself the reality that was beneath my Oscar winning fakery of being a man. My grow and potential as a woman - gone.
Then in January of 2013, I decided to be real. I made the choice to stop "robbing my own safe". I became who I knew was sleeping for 47 years - Jenny. I allowed her the life she deserved. I gave her the existence God granted her at birth. As a result, creativity and positive assurance grew like a field of wildflowers in Spring.
These days I find myself shaking my head and even laughing at myself a bit in my own amazement. I have dreamed things - done things lately, that I have never thought I could before. I am designing again and creating again. My artistic side is flourishing. There is nothing I can't do. I'm wearing bold and beautiful clothes and going to events for women. I'm traveling to DC and New York and I am even working with Lani Woo to produce a show - a very bold move for a transgender person.
So transgender friends and anyone reading my posts everyday I want to tell you something. Be the real person inside of you. Allow the real you to blossom and become magnificent. Never permit the negative and the dysphoria of life to tell you that your trapped. Dare to dream and dare to accomplish - be genuine. Allow the life you were given to live and see that wonderful can be yours!
You are the Captain of Your Destiny as a Transgender Person
Watch the video below by Jenny Taylor and see that you can be in control of your transformation.
If you allow others to dictate your future, then your transition will be limited. To get the most out of your journey, you alone must decide what is best for you and your path to walk. Others mean well, but unless they are trans like you, they cannot guide you well. Even a loving family member cannot make the right choices for you and your transformation.
As a woman, the one thing that bothers me most to be honest is the fact that I cannot be pregnant. I'm too old now anyway. But there is a huge longing, and has always been since I was a little girl, that I wanted to feel that life developing within me.
I wanted to be like Eve in-part, as a mother of the living. It is so deep and part of, this feeling, that I cannot explain it. I would weep and still do when I see a pregnant Mom. I so long for this - its a natural thing for a woman to want children and to nurse and to care for a little one that enters the world from your body.
To have the expression of love growing inside of me is a feeling sadly that I will never know. I do still long for this. It is not a fascination, it's innate within me from God.
I have 4 children, not from my womb, but still my Babies. I love them as a Mom and I love that feeling. I have always loved them that way. I am thankful that I do have that pleasure and motherly longing fulfilled.
Keeping it real...Transgender and Happy and Honest
You all know that I am genuinely happy - very happy. Then there comes a day when all the haters come out. Like hunting season or something. I just fell down on my face and wept earlier. I had to weep before God.
I knew He cared and listened to me as His Daughter. I have always been His little girl and He was there for me today. I have no job at the moment, I got hate mail and rejection emails and I just had to cry. It helps - a vent of sorts.
God always has a heart for His daughters when they weep before Him. Look at Hannah, Mary M and the other Mary. Look at Esther. They wept before the Lord and then help arrived. Look at the widow who had nothing and God sent a prophet to care for her and her son. I know I will have my help as well.
God made me as a woman. I really do not care if religious freaks do not think so. I know who I am. I know what gender I am. My Maker does as well.