For those who do not know...Facts about my Transgender Life Growing up:

I have always been a girl since I was so so young. I knew it, lived it and was friends with girls until around the 4th grade. I was forced to stay away from girls by my family and by the school one Monday. The Teachers told me I was no longer aloud to sit by, talk to or do anything with girls. That also happened at home as I was told that I would no longer be having Birthday parties with girls either. I was going to "find boys to be my friends". They bought me a ball and a glove and I was going to do boy things.

That began my 8 years of being beaten, teased and tortured by kids each and every day because they boys I was forced to be with knew I was a girl. The mental and the physical anguish was unbearable. My Brother did nothing and I was even humiliated by him. No one helped me saved me or did a thing. I guess it was thought that if I got beaten enough, that somehow I would fight back or become a boy. That never happened! I was beaten to a pulp.

Then the puberty years started. I began to grow breasts. Not just the buds. I began to have girl things happen to my body and it did not change like the other boys around me. That made gym class and the swimming we did there a total agony. We had to undress in front of each other and take showers too. Everyone saw everything on me that was like a girl! The teasing and the beating got worse. I no longer road the bus because it was not safe. The school and the driver did nothing. My parents did nothing as I came home crying everyday. I then began to walk to school 10 miles a day. Rain, cold, snow, heat; I walked.

When I go to school, the beatings continued. The same kids followed me my entire time from 4th grade till Graduation in 1984. So I had no release, no rest and the teasing and abuse was never ending. My grades were not good.

So I entered my adult years as a torn up and abused kid who now had to be an adult. I chose to hide the fact that I was a girl all because of the terrible treatment I got when I was little. No one could blame me. That is also why I began to hide in religion and in two wrecked marriages and all the other stuff.

I hope this little snippet helps to show you why I did what I did in my college years and in my young and older adult years. If you know these little details, you'll see that I had to do what I had to do just to survive. It hasn't been until I'm now 46 that I have the chance to bring closure to it all. To finally get to be me. So please don't judge me. Please do not criticize. I have been a girl since as long as I can remember. It's true and it has just about killed me to get to where I am today.

I don't have much money or even benefits really to cover all this transition. There is so much to wear and do and have done. But this I know. I am doing this transition no matter what. I am going to be Jennifer, the person I am, the woman I have always been. I will never quit, never stop and never give that up. Somehow I will make it, arrive at the place that I should be and I will be the girl that so many people never let me be. I will make this happen and I know God is blessing me.

Much love - Jenny
jennifercohenhappy@gmail.com