My Transition in Pics over last 4 months....

A Plea to my Parents to find me and somehow love me as their Daughter...

Dear Mom and Dad,

I think you follow me on Facebook, I have no idea anymore. Sadly we haven't spoken in some time. I was your Son and now, I am your Daughter for sure. Actually I always was your Daughter. We all just didn't know back then. But today, we all do know, or I hope that you will believe it.

As you look back at my many mistakes, and there have been many, I hope you see maybe the reasons why I was having trouble with my life. Now, maybe you will see why my marriages were never meant to be. Why I did badly in school or why I was so emotional and weak. I was a girl the entire time and I had no way of knowing what to do with that truth in a guy's body. I guess, neither did you.

If you are following me and if you have by chance been reading my posts, please allow me to be your Daughter. Please accept me, not as some disturbed kid that went wrong, but as a happy and emotionally sound person. I am not a "candy ass" as you called me. I am not a mess or embarrassing. I am a happy woman that the two of you helped to form. You brought me into the world, please somehow re-own me.

But I will never be your Son, I can only be who I have always been. I know it all seems shocking and maybe a shame to you, but to me and my friends, I am whole and wonderful. Maybe, just maybe, this crazy way of trying to reach you will make its way through the universe and to your wall??? Facebook has a way of doing that. If it does, then please tell me that I am your Daughter and that you do love me as your Daughter. Use my name and acknowledge that I exist as the woman whom you help bring into the world.

We all will die one day. Why do so without mending or acknowledging who I am finally? I am your daughter. Male hormones you thought would genuinely help never changed me into a man. Separating me from girls and girl things in and after 4th grade never changed me either. Kids beating me up constantly and day after day never stopped me or made me stand up as a guy. Nothing will change my reality. Nothing, not even myself and my stupid attempts at hiding and running from being transgender. I am a girl, a woman now. I want to be loved by you and finally received not generically or by some blanket we don't care what gender you are. I want you to care and to admit that what I know is true is in fact believed by you as well.

I will be the best Daughter you could ever know. You can learn about how sweet and caring I am. You can discover how funny and feisty I am too. I am not the little kid or the young adult you last remember. I am a beautiful and awesome female who loves people and has helped so many. You would be proud of who your daughter has become. Please give me a chance if you ever get this note.

Love - Jennifer your estranged daughter

Are You Going Full Time? 

What every Transgender Person Must Know.

https://soundcloud.com/jennifercohenhappy/going-full-time-as-a

Listen to a talk by Jenny Taylor and make your transition the best that it can be.

Ignorance is our Greatest Enemy as Transgender People

Jennifer Taylor - Puts it out there and minces no words..."Ignorance Must be Stopped"

Listen to this inspiring talk by Jennifer Taylor about ignorance and how it causes the greatest threat to us as transgendered men and women.  https://soundcloud.com/jennifercohenhappy/ignorance-the-transgender

I'm walking on the beach to clear my mind. A cool breeze blows after a passing storm in South Florida. I spoke to myself as God was listening to my every thought. I'm a girl in a guys body - I'm Transgender. 

As I was strolling along my way at the beach, I said to "myself" and a prayer of sorts - "I wish I was a girl here and now." I desired so deeply to be transformed to what I knew I was since birth - a girl. This wish is very typical for transgender females like me. I really wasn't seeking for a word in reply, but what happened next was very real.

A voice in my mind, so loving, affirmative and kind said in reply- "You ARE a girl. " I smiled. Like a divine rebuke. I was being told to no longer ask this question because of a simple truth deep within me. I was a girl. Even though I was stuck in a guy's body, it made no change in my reality. I was female and not a male. I think the voice was of the Creator who made me and He assured me. All I could reply with a tear was:  I love you Lord.

Transgender women struggle with looking like a male. We want to be female because that's who we really are. We sometimes need the reminder from heaven or in our hearts and minds that we are girls no matter what the outside looks like. Hearing a voice as I did may sound corny to you, but to a trans-girl, it was truly divine.

Jenny Taylor
jennifercohenhappy@gmail.com

Being Transgender - Facing the Truth about Your Gender means also Facing Your Accusers...

Walking as I usually do each day and in public you never know who you'll bump into. Most people who see me as a guy/girl (their interpretation, not mine), usually just smirk or keep walking by. Some however make very rude comments when they think I can't hear with my earbuds on. 

I walk like a girl. I have the whole hip thing going on and have for a long time. I wear makeup and have longer hair than most guys. I wear girl shorts and a girl top. Well dressed in all that, as I was walking on the sidewalk, three guys came from the opposing direction. One guy said to the others, (they had no idea I could hear them), "Well, look what we got here". Laughs then began as they looked right at me. I was not happy.

Most of the time I just let stuff go by. But not tonight. Sometimes you have to peacefully take a stand and say knock it off. You end the haters jeers and their words against you with just a look. They thought that you would just roll over and take it. You show them differently.

I heard their garbage loud and clear. I pulled the earbuds from my ears and I turned around as they were still looking at me. I had a look that meant business. Remember I am a mixed martial arts girl. I can protect myself if I have to. The guys when they saw how serious I was turned around and quickly went their way a whole lot faster than they had before! I made my point. They went away and no they were not laughing anymore.

I never recommend this for anyone, but I still share the fact that there is a time, only when you are a zillion percent safe, to take a stand against haters. Most of the time smile and go your way. (Don't do what I did. It's never worth a fight.) Yet, i felt in my heart that maybe I put the fear of God in them by my look. Maybe they will never dare do that to another trans-girl again. This time I convinced them to shut their traps.

I may be a girl and I may be kind pretty (rarely), but I'll kick you assurances all over the sidewalk if I have to. Hardly ever will I do this kind of posture, but tonight I had to. The best part, I did it looking like and being a girl. Heehee.

Hugs - Jenny (One tough Momma)

Bravery Test...Transgender Exam Time

You know you're brave when you are a transgender female at a restaurant, looking like a woman and every single eye in the place begins to focus on you alone. They all stop eating and you can hear a pin drop as they watch your every move.

As you stand at the counter, looking fabulous, every person leans in to hear what your voice will sound like! (It would be so funny one day to do the loudest and deepest male voice I have to order! hee hee) In my regular-soft female voice I get my order taken. You hear all the people gasp behind you. What must they be thinking as I laugh to myself. Who cares, I proceed anyway.

Some people look and when they get a good gander, they say who cares. Others, stare or even smile in acceptance. Some just point and tap the guy next to them and then laugh. All part of a normal day in the life of a Trans-girl.

Yet in all of the good, the bad, and the homophobic, you reach deep within and you find courage to keep being yourself. You face the hardship and you know that you are real and genuine. You are inside what you look like outside as a woman. You are in fact a girl. You reject the looks and the stares. You hold your head up high and you try not to trip in your heels! You have a good sense of pride about who you are and it shows.

It feels good to be brave and feminine. It feels great to be pretty and to be courageous. I'm going to keep doing this. I will continue to be me - a woman.

Jenny Taylor

Full-Time and Full-Speed Ahead...Transgender Goodness

I was coming home from work yesterday. I pulled into my spot in front of my apartment building as usual. In front of my door were three women. Keep in mind that I am dressed fully woman and dressed from head to toe as a lady. 

No big deal to be a woman for me considering that I was coming dressed from work that female way. But regardless, these were my neighbors and typically there is no one at my door. Sometimes, there is one person there, but never three like today. Since I have come out "full-time" as a girl, there are more and more people on the balcony. Funny how every night now, at the precise moment I get home, there's a crowd! I guess they're lining up to see the "show". LOL

Anyway, I get out of my car and make my way to the stairway where the ladies are waiting in front of my door! From the very second I got out of my car, their eyes were glued on me. All of them like kittens in unison, watching a toy mouse in tandem, they all turned their heads to see me. "Oh crap", I thought to myself. I swallowed and kept walking to face my judges. Man, I was scared.

I was wearing girl jeans, a peasant top and roman sandals. I was carrying a "hobo bag" that matched of course and I had my hair and makeup done to perfection. I looked good. So from a "fashion standpoint" I was ok. But geez, to walk in front of all those girls! Ahh.

I have two ways to get to my apartment: the front, where they panel of my peers were and a back door by the pool. I made my way to the pool. (Sorry, I chickened out.) But wait - I talked myself into facing the women. (Yay!) I said to myself "Hey, you have been a woman all day long and you have nothing to be ashamed of. You are a girl like they are. No one cares if you dress like who you are!". I turned right back around and made my way to the front! With my mail at my "A Cup" breasts and push-up bra, I made my way up the catwalk.

Like a "next top-model" show contestant, I went before the critics. Each one now facing the stairway and looking intently at me and my clothing. Terrified and determined, I got to the top of the stairs where they were standing. Silence filled the air as they all, in unison, looked at me to say something. OMG, I not only had to pass looking like a woman, I now had to talk like one too! "Crap!", (Not what I said, what I thought LMAO).

Look, I just decided to be me. Why portray anything? I am a woman. Just be one and who gives a damn. So I said to the ladies "Hey ya'all". They kindly replied "Hey, hun how are you?" I said "Great!" Wow. No big deal at all, I thought to myself. The ladies not only were fine, they accepted me too. I felt so good to be me- a woman, and also be accepted by my neighbors who were women.

My neighbors have all seen me as a girl for a few weeks. I mean I have been out for sometime, but not "full-blast" and "Full-time". Lately, I have made the choice to be me all the time and everywhere. Look what happens when you do, NOTHING! I love that.

So the moral is: Be Real, Be Genuine, Be True to Self and Be Happy.

Much Love Jenny Taylor

I could have been Bitter and Cynical, But NO...

From all that I went through in my life I guess I could have chosen to be bitter and cynical. I could have decided to repay the world for all the hell "they" put me through. I could have said: I hate people and I'll never trust anyone ever again. Thank God I never chose any of those things.

I am a positive person. I love people and I decided to not be cynical. I chose to turn a bad event and a bad time in my life into something for the benefit of others. I chose to love my enemies and to treat my neighbor as myself. I had to be positive and resist the negative. I had to make the choice to forgive people who were cruel.

This intent of mine - to be loving and forgiving, is the best route to take over bitterness and cynicism. You focus on what benefits others and you show love to a world that needs it. Why add to the cruelty and the distrust already out there? Why be like everyone who harmed me? No, its my turn to say no to the desire to "get people back". Time to let go of the negativity. Time to move forward into a positive future.

Try your best to forgive and to love those whom are your enemies. I know it seems like you're allowing their misbehavior by doing so, but that not true. When you love and forgive a bad person, a mean person and an idiot, you do a miraculous thing - you instantly head in the opposite direction. If you return hate for hate, then you're a hater too just like they are. If you return meanness and cynicism, you become that.

Never become what you hate. Bitterness and cynicism make you into that bad person you don't want to be. You justify your bad activities as if you have the right to be mean and negative because of what "they" did to you. No my Friend, choose love and choose to go in the other direction via forgiveness.

Much love, even to my enemies and mean people,
Jenny Taylor

Difficult People in Your Life...

One thing that I have learned is that you cannot give up on a person or people when they are difficult. You may have that family member or that coworker that is so tough to deal with. You may have a neighbor who is the devil incarnate, but somehow you have to try and be kind, caring and willing to love.

There is a saying: "Love covers a multitude of sins" and I believe in that saying. You love so much that you can overlook the difficult people who seems to have a goal of being against your grain. Your forgive the tough people and the loud people and the ones whom never seem to like you. You find a thread of compassion for an individual because you see more than a person being difficult. You look past that persons inabilities to be friendly and you see the human deep inside. Under all that roughness and that hard exterior shell they've erected, you see a person hiding. You begin to empathize.

Difficult people are part of life and they will not go away. So it is up to us to somehow see the human element and look past the outward junk. Listen, I hate it when people are plain mean or unwilling to work with me. But then I remind myself that maybe at times I can be difficult too. There may have been instances, just a few I hope, where I needed someone to be kind to me.

I think the world would be a better place if difficult people would change their ways and join the rest of the human race, but a lot of the time that will never happen. People seldom change. So in the mean time, it's up to us to try our best to work with them. To promise ourselves that we won't be like them. To make the world a better place with the life we've been given.

Much love -even to difficult people out there.

Jenny Taylor

Some Pics of me at around 3 months HRT. Progressing right along.

My Breasts are at an A cup right now and growing at a steady pace. I have a butt too and the fat is moving to the correct places. I have decided to go as full-time as my wardrobe allows me to. Only two friends think its inapprpriate. Whatever. I am getting two new friends it looks like then. I am going to be a woman, because I already am one inside. No going back now. Never.

Are You a Cross Dresser?

No, I am a real woman and trying to dress that part as any girl would do. Via hormones, my body is slowly transforming to agree with what is on the inside. A cross dresser is a guy or a girl portraying the opposite sex. I am not portraying or copying or trying to fulfill some fetish. 

I am a girl. I ask people to see that truth not because I wore a dress or a bra. I am a woman because of what is clearly seen from inside me. It manifests itself from my inner self and it come to the surface.

No dress or makeup will ever make you a girl for real. Your inner woman, the "woman of the heart", is what makes you genuine. You never allow the "outward adorning" to define your reality. You are a woman because that's what God made you to be.

Jenny Taylor

Happiness...is Yours if you take the opportunity to Get It

My friends listen to me. You know my story about being a transgender female. A journey of becoming the real me. Matching my outsides to what has been inside. Revealing what was once hidden from view. Becoming the woman I've always been. But that's my experience. You have yours as well.

Do what you have to to be happy. If happiness is within your reach, then reach out for it. Never settle for ok when you can have great. Do all you can to obtain the happiness you know is true.

Take it from a woman who hid her life away and wasted so many years. Take one look at the smile on my face today and see how it grows more and more. Happiness did this to me and happiness will do the same for you if you pursue it.

Happiness will not come to you in most cases although it can happen. Happiness is sought for, fought for and seized. Go get it and be happy like me. Only you know what makes you truly happy. No one else can tell you or force you to be happy. It is determined by you alone.

Now go and be the real you and be happy.

Jenny Taylor

I decided to go Full Time...MTF

I have been out and semi-part time for a few months now. I have had a great reception so far. So many people that you never thought would support you, do.

Here I am at work today. My first day 100% girl clothes. My outfits are very limited, but I am constantly trying to add clothing each week. My hair is still very male, but I am letting it grow out. Full HRT 3 months now. Everything is going very well.

Red High-heel Shoes and How They Changed My Life

Foot Loose with Red Shoes and Happiness

It's so hard to transition being transgender. You either have something or you don't. Your clothing and shoes are either male or female. You try your best to get your clothes transitioned over to female from male, but face it, we all wear a ton of different items. To change your entire wardrobe from guy to girl is a challenge. That said, one department that I'm lacking in is shoes.

Every girl has a ton of shoes. Aside from them being awesome and fun to have, you need a different type for just about every outfit you wear. You need that color to go with that bag. You need that style to go with that skirt or that pant or dress. The requirements go on and on.

Sadly, I only have a couple pairs of shoes in my beginning stages of transition. I am trying to get more of them, but with limited funds, what's a girl to do? The other night, my dear friends, Rachel and Sharie, invited me over for dinner. They are a married couple and Rachel is transgender like me. We help support one another in our transition and are friends on Facebook. I gladly accepted their invitation and went over to their home in Hollywood one Saturday night. I wore a simple skirt with a nice top. Jewelry topped of the simplicity of my clothing choices and I wore the only girl shoes I had; sandals. The outfit was fun though and looked great, but the shoes were sadly boring.

I arrived at their home around 7 PM. As I walked through the door, I was greeted by my awesome friends. Kisses and hugs filled the doorway and I made my way inside. We all looked at each other's outfits and did the traditional oo's and ah's. It is so much fun to dress up. Tonight was no exception. The girls looked great and I was not liking my shoes compared to their stylish heels and platforms. I refused to even look down at my lowly sandals. I commented on how awesome their shoes looked and remained positive.

As I commented about her shoes, Sharie then asked me if I had ever worn heels before? My reply to her was a huge yes! I loved heels and always adored them. I remember wearing heels secretly and before I was "out of the closet". I dreamed of one day having my very own closet full of them.

Then Sharie did something very sweet. She made her way to the bedroom and came back out with a pair of heels in her hand. She said "here, try these on". I was so thrilled tat she would even think to do such a kind gesture. How much fun it is to try on shoes; it's a girl thing. I made an attempt to put my feet into these stylish shoes she handed me, but no luck. Usually, your toes get smashed and pointy heels hurt. That's normal, but these were definitely not going to work at all. I was sad they did not fit but I tried not to show it. Sharie began to leave the room again. I wondered what she might bring out next?

Sharie said "I'll be right back." I was a little excited, but I didn't get my hopes up too far. She came back into the room where we all were seated and in her hand this time was another pair of red heels. I thought, "Now these look like fun." Sharie handed me the three inch heels. They were bright red with silver and had around a four inch heel. You'd agree, they looked like "Dorothy's red shoes had mated with the Tin Man's silver ones" in the way they were so bright. But to me, they were magnificent. They were a perfect fit!

I walked around in these "bright red sky scrapers" and I think everyone may have been surprised at how well I took to them. During your life as a transgender person, you learn to wear a lot of different clothes. Certainly shoes were one of those items. Girls love shoes and for transgender girls, there is no difference.

As transgender girls, you learn to hide your clothing "experiments". You have to learn how to wear things like shoes secretly. Throughout the years, I would sneak into my Mom's, Girlfriend's, Friend's Sister's, Wife's (X), or anyone else's closet to try their shoes on. You have to learn somehow and this is the typical way transgirls have to do it if they don't buy them. The tricky part is locating a woman with large feet! That said, I have worn a ton of heels in my day and I have easily learned how to wear just about every kind of shoe available. Heels were shaky at first, but after a hundred times of wearing them, you get the hang of it. So at Sharie's house, these red heels were simple for me to adapt to.

I walked about their living room, kitchen and porch area with ease. My legs and feet looked great in them. I instantly fell in love. Being the ham that I am, I went into my display of how I could dance in heels and walk and do just about anything in them. I guess heels for some girls are a love-hate relationship. For me though, heels are divine! When I tried these red babies on, my toes were just fine after a simple smash and tuck of the pinkie toe. They weren't Prada, but to me they were. I think Sharie saw how much I loved them and declared to me that I could have them! I was thrilled and hugged her neck. What a gift and I was so appreciative. Remember, all I had were those boring sandals. Now, I no longer had to sneak around or wish for heels. I had a pair of my own thanks to the generosity of my friends.

I must have worn those heels for the next four hours or more. I couldn't take them off my feet. I wanted to go dancing in them and waking in them and showing off my great legs in them. I had a blast with my bright red heels and they were very comfortable. Even a few days later, all I want to do is wear them all over again.

Those shoes did something wonderful for me. They made me feel so "normal". Like a real woman. You see, transgender girls always try to fit in and be "real" and "authentic girls". Clothes and shoes are a huge help in that area. They make you feel whole and oh so happy. Like a canceling out of your negative guy image. A small correction of the gender mix-up you find yourself in. Whenever you can alter your outside to match your inside, you do it. These bright red shoes were like medicine to me and I guess there will never be words to adequately describe what they've done. Maybe you have to be a transgender girl to fully get it?

As the old song says: I am "foot loose" and I have "kicked off my Sunday shoes". I will never be the same again. A night out at a friend's house was so wonderful and I drove home with a beautiful pair of shoes. Maybe one day, shoes will do for you what they've done for me. I am happy.

Jenny Taylor
jennifercohenhappy@gmail.com