Allowing Your Child to Express Themselves...

There are correct and incorrect ways to reply to your son or daughter if they like something that at first does not agree with what society deems as appropriate for their gender. Let me explain the proper response to have below. It will make sense when I am done. The way you handle a situation now may mean the difference between your child being happy or feeling shame!

Scenario 1:

Your SON walks up to a display and says: Mommy, I love that pink shirt. Its pretty. Can I have a pink shirt?

Incorrect response that brings shame: NO, that's for girls! or What! are you crazy. Only your Sister wears clothes like that. You want people to think you're weird or a girl!

Correct Response that Allows your Child to be himself:

Yes, that is a pretty color. You like pink don't you? Me too. Why do you like this shirt (Johnny)? Let's see if it's in your size. You still want one? I bet you'd look nice in that.

Scenario 2:

Your SON says he likes to wear clothes that are more like the ones in the "girl's" section than the "boy's" section.

Incorrect Response that brings shame: What! No Son of mine is going to look like a Queer or some girl! You know, you make me so embarrassed when you say stuff like that!

Correct Response that encourages:

What kind of clothes do you like over there? Tell Dad what you mean? Would it make you happy to wear just girl clothes or guy clothes too? Me and Mommy want you happy son. Help us understand and we can look over there if you like. There's nothing wrong with how you feel.

Scenario 3:

Your SON says he is a girl in a boy's body.

Incorrect Response that brings shame: God made you a boy. Its a sin to wear girls clothes if you're a boy. You need to pray that this feeling goes away and that God forgives you for that.What will Pastor think?

Correct Response:

God made us all unique (Billy). We love you if you're a girl or a boy and so does God. Tell us more about what you feel inside. What you feel like is important to us. Share more with us about how you know you're a girl and that you are not in the right body. It's ok, there's nothing you've done wrong.

There are numerous scenarios. The way you handle them, will make the difference for your child for the rest of their lives. Your beliefs and your values may not be your child's. Even at a young age. Love, support and accept diversity. Even if diversity is in your own household.

If you shame your kid and call them confused or wrong, then you will cause untold damage that could cause them to commit suicide or hate themselves. Just because you don't understand Transgender, doesn't mean its weird or wrong.

Jenny ♥