I think my child is gay or Transgender...

I get asked this question all the time: What do I do if I think my kid is gay or Transgender?

First you love them unconditionally. Acceptance is a way to love someone. Refuse to shame your child. Watch your words. You may exhibit hate and bigotry and not even know it! What you say from your mouth goes straight to your child's heart. Be careful. Never wound your child because you don't understand why they are gay or trans and not straight like you.

Second I would allow your son or daughter to tell you themselves and in their own way. Sexual identity and gender expression are not known much to children until they are a little more developed. Also, each kid is different, so if there is a golden age of 6, it may not be that for your kid. In time. a child will exhibit and vocalize their thoughts. Don't expect grown up words either. Remember kids don't know what homosexuality or transgender is yet. They just know who they are and in their own life experiences. They will communicate to you their life when they are ready. Sometimes, it is young, other times, it is in the early teen years. Just be open and accepting no matter what. Love always leaves an open door for sharing.

Never have a sit down discussion and confront your child as if there is a huge concern about their expression or behavior with gender or orientation. Remove the "crisis" and the "alarm" out of orientation and gender. Stop freaking out! If a kid is a girl and acts like one, you don't panic. Why panic if they are a boy body and a girl expression? So what if your daughter likes girls and asks one to the prom. Chill baby chill.

The less you make it a freak fest the better it will be for your child. Your child will tell you all about what they feel and what they express because you are open with diversity. You love unconditionally and thus, they share with you. You refuse to condemn. They feel safe and they talk with you. It's that simple.

Most of the problems come when parents are not loving, accepting of diversity or are judgmental. When you make fun or mock, your child will only go into the closet. Who do you want your kid to confess to? You or some stranger? You or Facebook? The way you love and embrace diversity will make all the difference.

Jenny ♥
jennifercohenhappy@gmail.com