What not to tell your Transgender loved one or Friend...

I know you all may mean well, but never say something like this below, even if you sincerely mean well by it:

"I don't care if you are a guy or a girl. I don't see you as male or female. I love you anyway that you are. It makes no difference to me."

Without knowing it, if you say this to a Transgender person, you will cause resentment or rejection. Even though you meant well, you have told a trans person that you do not acknowledge their gender as this or that. You have straddled the fence and not supported nor acknowledged their inside self. You did not say: "I love you as my daughter". You did not say: "I love you as my son". By "son" and "daughter" I mean what they are on the inside not what you say they were at birth.

I know you think you're being accepting. You are trying not to judge, but you have taken no step to affirm the person's identity as female or male. All you did was really say "I don't care" and "I won't agree with you". Say what you like about your heart and your sincerity, I know what I am saying here.

Rather tell a Transgender person that you do accept their gender as (male or female as they express it). You do see them as a girl or a boy etc. Inforce and affirm the gender. Acknowledge the gender with words.

Change your use of pronouns! Say she and her if it is a MTF person. Use he or him if it is a FTM. It matters! You will grow so much closer to your friend if you do what i tell you.

Jenny ♥
jennifercohenhappy@gmail.com