Thinking and Wondering... a Transgender Wish
One of my favorite songs called "Over The Rainbow" says this:
"Someday I'll wish upon a star and wake up where the clouds are far behind me...Where troubles melt like lemondrops away above the chimney tops, that's where you'll find me".
As I meditate upon my life and how much of it has already past me by as the wrong gender, I sing this little song. Hoping that one day my troubles will all melt away and be far from me. Not that I am one to think my life is in trouble or that I am not happy. I am content and well overall. Yet, there are a couple things that I wonder about.
I know I am in a transition -Male to Female. My journey is in full swing and full time. Day by day I am becoming more feminine and much more pretty. Maybe not like CISgender women, but pretty comparative to what I used to be.
I think about a future day when I am about as beautiful as I will ever be, everyone arrives there at some point. Who will want a mixed up person such as myself? I know I am all woman. But will I be seen by a potential suiter as a hybrid - a pseudo blend of not one or the other sex. What person will want such a one as me? I do think about it.
Maybe my chances at love and being loved are all gone. It could be that I won't have another to hold and to hold me. Have I exhausted my opportunities? Sometimes I say yes. Other times, I declare certainly not! Time will tell.
So I wait and allow my pretty-self to form and to ready itself for a happy future. I sing my little song.
"If happy little bluebirds fly beyond the rainbow - why oh why can't I?"
Hopeful -Much Love
Jenny Taylor
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